DEAR.MOM,

DEAR.MOM,

Today is the day that I realized just how small life really is. We see our lives as these long, drawn out periods over the course of many decades. When in reality, life is quite short in the grand universal scheme. If I were to map my life, and even many ancestors’ lives passed, it would be minuscule when compared to the weight of humanity as a whole.

I think about this often, particularly when I am going through depression and feeling like I can’t keep going through life. But today, I am recognizing why each of these short lived lives matter — every one of us. It is because it is our opportunity to contribute to the larger picture. And there is no greater contribution to the all-encompassing path of civilization than bringing another life into this world.

The job of a mother is to shepherd new life, physically and through passed on teachings, into the world. The hope is that they have a better, easier time of life than themselves. And so on, and so forth comes evolution.

Until I become a mother someday, I will not fully feel the sense of love, worry, and joy a child brings to her mother. I can only empathize, with the little wisdom I have in my young life, the connection a mother feels to her child, and the pain it must bring to see her son or daughter going through hurt, sadness, and depression. There is a reason we hear stories of mothers gaining super-human strength to save their children from car wrecks, or why we have to remind them to put their oxygen mask on first, and then their child’s. This is the epitome of motherhood — babies first!

When I feel low, angry, hurt, fearful, suicidal, it’s Mom that I turn to first. When I am proud, joyful, elated, excited, thrilled, it’s Mom that I want to share my happiness with. On this Mother’s Day, I thank you, Mom, for being the one I can turn to when I’m at my high point, or at my low point.

I want you to always know that I am happy, healthy, and safe.

I want you to know that I want to live an even better life than you. I never want you afraid for me. I want you to always know that I am happy, healthy, and safe. And I want to share all of your teachings with my own daughter, someday.

Mom, you are the reason I want to stay on the map and continue my journey in this grand design of life. Thank you for always shining the light of the moon on my darkness. Happy Mother’s Day.

LOVE,

JOANNA

A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. – Honore de Balzac

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