I want to take a minute to tell you something amazing. Finally, I am finding my voice. Finally, I know how to say “No.” Finally, I am living my life, unafraid of being my assertive, strong, and kind self. Now, it’s time to BE.BOLD.
I grew up thinking anger was an un-pretty emotion. I often stuffed my feelings deep inside myself, and turned my anger inward into depression. Today, with coping skills, I am channeling anger, sadness, and even joy into a healthy expression of my mood. Finding the upside to feeling an emotion that you are uncomfortable with can make it more digestible, and release the tension and anxiety that may come along with it. Today, I vow to notice my feelings, without judgement, and find the root cause. Expressing your emotions can save relationships with friends, family, and significant others. Don’t live in fear of your feelings. Embrace them, and BE.BOLD.
Many times, my assertiveness has been wrongly seen as aggression. Viewing myself as a strong, independent woman, my assertive moments were shot down many times, and often left me feeling insecure and unconfident.
Want to know the real aggressive case? It’s the people who put you down for feeling smart, capable, and decisive. I used to sink to a lower level, and get upset with the toxic relationships I had with the people who kept me feeling weak. No one should make you feel guilty, stupid, or “too pushy” when you are asserting yourself.
definition of assertive
1: disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior
Do you find it difficult to say “No?” Still, I have trouble with this one. I think a lot of it came from being taught to be polite and people-pleasing, but in my later years it developed into a real issue.
Practice this two-letter word on the small things: if you don’t want to go out somewhere, say No; if you don’t have time to help someone with a favor, say No. No should NO.LONGER be a BAD.WORD. This is one of the greatest words of our language, it is empowering and assertive and so not selfish. No is an honest word. Be genuine with the things you just don’t want to do, and say NO.THANK.YOU. We can still do it in a polite way…
The more you use your voice, the more you learn about yourself. No life should be lived in silence, fearful or unsure or numb to our emotions.
So, I challenge you to be assertive, say no thank you, and find your inner voice. Go forth, and BE.BOLD!
Read more about the benefits of BEING.ASSERTIVE on PsychologyToday.com.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. — Dr. Seuss